Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourseles, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. ~Marianne Williamson

Monday, February 23, 2009

Warning! Might be Gross!

Ok, I wasn't sure that I was going to put you guys through this but since it is consuming nearly every thought I have right now...I have to say it.

I have an owie!

Now, I know that most of you are moms or at least have pets and have seen "owies." But this one is gross, too! And literally, I can't think of too much else since it is...on...me. Yep...me!

I really wish I had some great, entertaining story to go along with it. My son has the best owie stories ever. Let's see...stitches in his cheek from a baseball...glued finger after cutting it open and he was thrilled because he could see the bone...staples to the head after wrestling with mom...broken collar bone from bull riding...split lip from a kick to the face by his pony (and didn't get knocked out!)...and recently...knife juggling led to 4 stitches. No, my story is neither cool nor tough sounding in anyway. I simply fell...well, slipped really...in gravel.

On Saturday morning, I was very excited to have slept in...late...past 8am! As I was getting up and getting my day started, I heard Keith's radio/phone going off in the living room. Since he was on call, that was pretty important. I began looking around for him...he was no where in the house. I looked outside and saw that the gate to the animals was secure and the shed was open. I assumed that because the day was gorgeous and I hadn't heard from him yet this morning that he must be busy working (he's expanding my chicken coop, working on the fence and finishing stalls) or training horses (we have 3 young ones). No horses were to be seen but it was certainly possible that he was feeding them behind the stalls in the far corner.

I opened the back door and yelled...no response...and his phone was still beeping at me. In a huff, I threw on my muck boots and headed out with phone in hand. I crossed the gate and still no sign of any of them. The goats were still home so I didn't suspect a break out. I went all around (the area where they are really isn't that big) and found NO ONE. That could not be good. I gave the phone to my sick son and told him to run to Grandma's and have her answer it (they work for the same company). I dashed back in the house...out of my jammies...in to my jeans and out the door. Last week, two horses escaped (well, one was out and the other bolted at the gate and the two took off) so it was not too crazy of an idea.

I started up and down the street...across to where they are pastured in the spring and summer...down in to the Christmas tree farm...no sign of them. I knew Keith would NEVER take them out on his own so this was not a good sign. I became very worried and concerned that he may be injured somewhere with misbehaving horses and no way to get help.

When suddenly, a truck pulls slowly down our road and stops. He yells to me asking if I'm looking for a guy with 4 horses! Yep! That was me! He told me to hop in and as I ran around the side of the truck to get in, I slipped and went down. So fast I could not even catch myself! Literally, I did not reach out until my face was inches from the ground. And I hurt...bad! Austin came and asked me if I was okay and I said that I was. I climbed in the truck and looked through my shreded pants to find a 1" plus gash/flap on my knee...not much blood yet but the road rash around it started bleeding. We headed down to the Garfield Grange Hall where he said they would be coming through. When the neighbors horses perked up and ran for the fence I hopped out and ran around the building. As soon as my foot hit the ground I knew I was in trouble. Shooting pain went both up and down my leg from my knee. I ran anyway.

Through the other Christmas tree farm came 2 women on horseback ponying our two wildest horses (Loco and Cooper), another woman led my trusty boy, Chazzy, and Keith had Baby. I took Loco and the other women walking helped us get everyone home. Apparently what happened was they were all wound up that morning because there were some workers trimming trees next door in that Christmas tree farm (yes, we are surrounded...looks amazing in the snow) and so Keith went out to feed them to distract them and hopefully calm them down. As he opened the gate, Cooper (4 year old quarter horse and built like a tank) chargged the gate knocking over Keith and pushing the gate on him and the rest followed. No time to get us, Keith grabbed halters and lead ropes and headed across the street after them. He was afraid they would get further away if he took the time to get help. He was also worried because if they get hit by a car, we would be liable.

So, now they were home and settled in...tired and hungry. I went in to my mom's with blood soaking through my jeans and looked at it. It was nasty! Wide open and bleeding like a fountain. Keith had to head for work, Kennedy was supposed to be at my niece's party and I had a gaping wound...on my knee...where I have no fat for padding!

I jumped in the shower...I figured stitches were on the agenda and a shower when I returned would be out of the question. It just kept bleeding. I was going to either faint or be sick so I hopped back out and laid down on my bed. I threw on my scrubs and headed out with my dad driving (I injured my right knee).

We arrived at an empty ER. Got right in and the doctor said that it was a real mess. I didn't cut straight down but through the side. He cleaned it up slightly and then started poking it and shooting in novacaine! Ugh! I thought I was going to be like one of those cartoon cats stuck to the ceiling. OMG! Austin said that I only used the "S" word a few times. It hurt!!! Worse than when I actually injured myself.

A great big guy came in next to clean it...not fun...apparently the way it was cut it was hard to get all the dirt and stuff out. Next came the stitches...only 3...what?!? It was a jagged mess so he did one at the top...one in the middle...and one at the bottom. One side of the cut was numb but not the other...it just kept getting better! I was glad when the nurse came in to bandage it up and sent me home with 2 antibiotics. The doctor was afraid it was not really clean so he wanted to cover the bases, I guess.

Ok...I told that entire story to get to the gross part...no, we're not there yet. So, through Sunday, it hurt like the dickens but I survived and it looked OK...well, as ok as it could look...all things considered. Today...Monday...not so much.

My sister came over to help me with the sick kids and crazy animals and I showed it to her. I thought I just had some nasty road rash but it kept bleeding where my cut was...every time I walked. It was also swollen. I decided to head to the shower...where it got worse...when I got out...it was open. Between the top and middle stitch, I had a hole of (here it starts to get gross) red, bloody tissue that just seeped. Ewww! I called the Dr's office (Caryn had already called once this morning) and was told by the answering service that it could wait until 1:30 when they returned from lunch.

Now, side track, I love my sister! She is wonderful, loving, caring, loyal and has absolutely no problem getting exactly what she wants. For my son's b-day party we rented a local pool...the last party was still there opening gifts and eating cake even though it was clearly our time...she made them leave...quickly. She rocks! If you ever need someone on your side or someone to get things done...you can count on her. I would just like to say that I am taking credit for this. You see...she's my LITTLE sister and I made her tough and demanding. Sure...she thinks I was mean growing up...but really...I was preparing her for the real world.

Ok, back to MY story. So, my sister would have absolutely no waiting! She called back and demanded to speak with the doctor...and got through. I was seen at 1:30...as soon as their lunch was over.

The nurse took one looked at it and circled around the cut with her finger asking me if it had looked like that before...like what? The road rash...not road rash...blistering and oozing infection...ewwww. Apparently when the doctor in the ER stitched it...he created a nice little place for infection to grow...a pus pocket. Yum! And now...that pus was looking for a way out...oh, wait...it gets better. So, the doctor cut out the stitches and squeezed...you guessed it...more pus and blood...yep....lucky me! The nurse cleaned it and told me to scrub it with a washcloth and soap 3x per day...are they crazy??? Scrub the pus off? The dying tissue? Oh, God no! And stay off it? Don't drive? Don't walk? What????

With Vicodon in my system...I have come to terms with their recommendation. I also picked up ANOTHER antibiotic and I have to return in a few days. So, I have crutches...when I put pressure on it I darn near jump! I hate crutches. My sister has a cane from when her husband got in a street fight and tore his ACL (that's another posting) so I tried that...I felt very cool and sarcastic...like Dr. House...my family didn't notice that I was acting....hmmm....

And tonight...I scrubbed it...it...did....not...feel...good...in fact, it was painful and itchy! I got out of the tub and blew it dry with the hair dryer..as instructed...weird...blow drying my knee...very weird and kind of yucky feeling. I then decided to lay on my bed and just let it breathe. Big mistake...since it thinks it's alive. I started to notice little bubbles developing on my knee...not in the cut...around it. It kind of reminded me of spit bubbles that bugs make or like air bubbles that come to the surface of a pond when something lives in it...ewww...or like that Untold Stories of the ER episode where that lady had bugs living IN her scalp and they were pushing bubbles out of the holes...ewww...I know...very active imagination. I yelled for Keith! I couldn't take it anymore!

He saw bubbles, too. I got a guaze pad and wiped them away and they came back...ewww...so either I have bugs or my body fluid is boiling...either way...not good.

Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try! ~Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Thinks You Can Think!


Amy said...

Thank you so much for NOT posting a picture to go with the story! OUCH! Sounds like you've really done a number to yourself.

Once you're feeling better, I think you should open a bed and breakfast for city slickers like me and my family :)

Mrs. Darling said...

Oh that is terrible! This just make me sick to my stomach. You poor thing. Oh I do hope you get better! That is just beyond yucky!LOL Okay Im not laughing at you Im laughing...oh okay Im just laughing! But its not funny! Really its not.

Amanda said...

So I know this is gross but I totally want to see a picture! So sorry you have to go through this!

aprilann said...

OK, Mel. That's a GROSS OUT story. And what do you mena it was "cool" or "tough"? You are one tough momma! I hope your knee is better SOON.